Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
