I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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