You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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