Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
