so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize