no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
