how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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