just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Four minutes until I can fart!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just high enough for therapy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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