like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
