she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
