another moral hangover. fuck.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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