My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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