i used baking grease as lip gloss
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
