can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
