google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
