Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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