Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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