Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
