whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize