shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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