i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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