I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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