What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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