Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
