Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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