All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
