No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
