Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
