I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
