Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite

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  (586): I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk (586): I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite http://tfl.nu/tt9d
  Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (495)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Yah man, that place is surreal

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?

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  (801): Yah man, that place is surreal (731): Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal? http://tfl.nu/sga3
  Replies (70) Good night (4076) Bad night (1588)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  zippers are such a cool invention

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  (201): zippers are such a cool invention http://tfl.nu/t5qh
  Replies (29) Good night (4823) Bad night (668)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent

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  (612): i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent http://tfl.nu/7y58
  Replies (13) Good night (5770) Bad night (814)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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  (937): I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide. http://tfl.nu/dybq
  Replies (4) Good night (3064) Bad night (868)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card

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  (732): on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card http://tfl.nu/pv0m
  Replies (8) Good night (4312) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!

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  (832): How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?! http://tfl.nu/iqkb
  Replies (59) Good night (1965) Bad night (5282)
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  (714): View more from California

  we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet

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  (714): we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet http://tfl.nu/qhid
  Replies (12) Good night (4503) Bad night (1425)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.

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  (204): There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed. http://tfl.nu/gq2o
  Replies (4) Good night (2533) Bad night (875)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it

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  (419): The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it http://tfl.nu/cai3
  Replies (9) Good night (2055) Bad night (944)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.

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  (913): the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head. http://tfl.nu/5rt7
  Replies (8) Good night (670) Bad night (2137)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer

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  (508): He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer http://tfl.nu/btvn
  Replies (5) Good night (836) Bad night (2720)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.

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  (678): For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute. http://tfl.nu/6j0u
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (357)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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  (713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (270)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.

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  (567): If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you. http://tfl.nu/fy7x
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (461)

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