On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.