I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.