Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY

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  (260): I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY http://tfl.nu/3vks
  Replies (4) Good night (2110) Bad night (676)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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  (401): Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home http://tfl.nu/zrvk
  Replies (22) Good night (740) Bad night (6448)
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  (916): View more from California

  Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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  (916): Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice http://tfl.nu/ob9j
  Replies (76) Good night (2773) Bad night (1624)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

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  (843): the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place http://tfl.nu/6i8c
  Replies (16) Good night (5870) Bad night (868)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.

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  (709): Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pavi
  Replies (16) Good night (1872) Bad night (4042)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes

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  (706): He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes http://tfl.nu/an5y
  Replies (4) Good night (3561) Bad night (731)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.

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  (910): You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear. http://tfl.nu/21wf
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (2745)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels

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  (303): im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels http://tfl.nu/5yvq
  Replies (4) Good night (1860) Bad night (611)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.

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  (509): He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes. http://tfl.nu/sfqd
  Replies (5) Good night (1712) Bad night (539)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?

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  (918): Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball? http://tfl.nu/b2ii
  Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (615)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.

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  (480): It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood. http://tfl.nu/ktz5
  Replies (4) Good night (1909) Bad night (561)
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  (408): View more from California

  We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.

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  (408): We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn. http://tfl.nu/p0jo
  Replies (21) Good night (1270) Bad night (532)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.

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  (816): He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship. http://tfl.nu/hu0s
  Replies (4) Good night (1512) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!

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  (616): my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES! http://tfl.nu/l6hp
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...

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  (617): A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs... http://tfl.nu/kz0n
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (655)

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