Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!

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  (313): lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club (810): I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds (810): Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies! http://tfl.nu/l421
  Replies (5) Good night (1385) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...

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  (412): Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands... http://tfl.nu/7chd
  Replies (10) Good night (1177) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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  (917): i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab http://tfl.nu/gssq
  Replies (8) Good night (2952) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot

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  (937): i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot http://tfl.nu/0845
  Replies (12) Good night (4024) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.

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  (214): I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars. http://tfl.nu/iixj
  Replies (20) Good night (943) Bad night (6585)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

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  (907): the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas http://tfl.nu/bksv
  Replies (42) Good night (4660) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other

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  (857): other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other http://tfl.nu/ii3b
  Replies (10) Good night (1521) Bad night (2775)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.

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  (619): I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner. http://tfl.nu/1na9
  Replies (8) Good night (2141) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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  (614): Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday http://tfl.nu/2snx
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (1852)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.

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  (713): You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin. http://tfl.nu/p64y
  Replies (5) Good night (1301) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?

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  (425): Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios? http://tfl.nu/2jhx
  Replies (12) Good night (449) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.

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  (610): I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA. http://tfl.nu/fhl1
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.

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  (727): No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/v8lz
  Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?

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  (719): Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit? http://tfl.nu/ng8r
  Replies (2) Good night (1059) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.

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  (209): ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/pw31
  Replies (0) Good night (222) Bad night (481)

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