so that wasnt chicken after all
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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