Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
