Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
