Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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