Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
