Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
