Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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