My first STD was from a foam party
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize