dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
