my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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