If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
