If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
