As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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