I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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