Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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