i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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