I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
