Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
