if i can run in heels then i can drive
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
time to smoke my breakfast
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
