conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN