so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.