Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Everything about him screamed your future.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.