My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy