and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...