Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
