At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
