I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
