Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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