Yo dont text me then not text me
Buhtt sex?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
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Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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