I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
