I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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