I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
