pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
