Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
